Rap battle: Shane vs Conor
by Evergreendusk
Summary: Who will win? Who knows? Who cares? Please review.
1. The beginning

_**Don't ask because this is literally what the title says it is.**_

 _ **P.S. Set after FOTB book 8**_

Abeke stepped onto the stage in her pretty blue dress. The crowd roared.

"Welcome, ladies and gentlemen! Today, you will see something- er… _Special._ Please welcome, my friends, CONOR AND SHANE!"

Abeke waited for the crowd to cheer. Shane came on the stage first, the crowd roaring. Conor came on after that, and the crowd became slightly less loud. Abeke laughed and stepped back on the stage. "Today, it is a complete battle between Conor and Shane! YOU will be the judges. Now let me explain the rules for the rap battle."

The crowd cheered again, this time louder than ever. Abeke waited for the voices to fade before speaking again. "This is a freestyle rap battle! No cussing, though, or you will get five points deducted from your total score. The scores are on one hundred, so good luck." Abeke paused, smiling, and then made some effort to add, "You'll need it!"

The lights went off. The spotlight shone on Conor to go first. Conor tensed. From backstage, Abeke could see his anxious face.

Rollan pressed a button. A beat ran out, and he gestured to Conor to begin.

"Uh… _Hi my name is Conor and I like counting sheep. Unlike some of you, who only like to sleep._ Um… _I'm sorry if this isn't sleek, but I went to Walmart last week, just grabbing something I like to eat. And… sizes eight are my feet._ "

The crowd laughed. Abeke had to admit, it was pretty hilarious.

The spotlight turned to Shane.

"That was horrible, am I right?" The crowd cheered. "No get ready to face your fate, _sheep boy._ Ahem… _The loser poor boy can rap, how 'bout that? A cute little boy with a backwards cap. Sike! He'd be better with a fedora hat! This is my life, being a famous rapper, but he'd be better as a shepherd."_

 _ **Vote who should get what out of a hundred! Continuing with four reviews that respond to the question.**_


	2. Mud shower

_**Sorry it took so long to update!**_

Rollan cleared his throat. "I will speak the words of the judges. Second place is-"

"THERE ARE ONLY TWO PLACES, IDIOT!" Meilin yelled, slapping Rollan in the face. "And I will announce the places. The looser will get a punishment."

"What type of punishment?" Conor asked, biting his nails.

Meilin smiled evilly. "Well, that, you have to find out." She gestured towards Abeke. "May you explain the update of the rules, please?"

"Yes, of course. The update is there will be no math with the stupid averages or that stuff, just a winner. And the winner will win a special prize."

"And what's that prize?" Shane asked.

"Well, you have to find out."

Meilin stood up. "The looser of the first round is… SHANE!"

Shane looked shocked. "But- but- how can it be me? Isn't there some mistake?"

Rollan ignored him. He turned his chair to the crowd. "What punishment should Shane get?"

"WATER SLIDE! WATER SLIDE! WATER SLIDE!"

Shane scoffed, his facial expression relaxed. "Water slide? That doesn't sound so b-" Shane broke off as the floor beneath him opened, him dropping.

All everyone could hear was the brave Shane screaming.

"Alright, ladies and gentlemen, let's look at the cameras, shall we?"

The screen behind Abeke lit up, showing a scary almost ninety degree drop with a boy screaming on top of his lungs, covered in water.

"MUD SHOWER!" the crowd screamed.

Rollan did his infamous smirk and pressed one of the red buttons on the table for the judges.

On the big screen, a huge glob of brown poured on the screaming Devourer, who now was screaming even louder. Abeke found it funny. Not that she would want to be in Shane's place.

"Where's he gonna land?" a guy in the crowd asked.

Rollan froze. "I- um- am not the engineer here, so um, I didn't exactly make this thing, so um, I, um, sort of, um, have no idea…"

"Good," Conor said.

Rollan scoffed. "Don't worry, we'll figure it out. The camera will just-"

The screen behind Abeke buzzed, shutting down with a gray zig-zagged screen.

"Yes, mister solution?" Meilin challenged, sarcastically.

"THE SHOW MUST GO ON!" the guy in the crowd yelled.

Rollan stood up, turning to the crowd. "How?" he asked, glaring. "Shane's not here."

The guy snapped his fingers three times. "Well I am!"

"You're not Shane," Meilin snapped.

"Oh no I'm not, beautiful, but at least I can be better than Rollan."

Abeke bit her lip. This wasn't going to end well. "Alright, alright," Abeke said, before Rollan planned to show off and Meilin planned to kill him. "We have a new contester! Please welcome…"

"Um… Bob!"

"Hello, Um Bob!" Abeke exclaimed. "Would you like to step up here and freestyle rap?"

"Of course."

Meilin pressed a button. "Conor, you're up first."

Conor smiled, blowing kisses to the crowd. "Oh, I'm ready, alright. Give me a beat! Yeah! Alright! _Open up your doors, I'm comin' into town. I'm stealin' all your ladies, so you better go back down. I'm so hot I can melt your ice. But if you even got any that would be nice._ "

"Oh, you did not," Um Bob started.

"Oh he did too," Rollan joked.

Um Bob scoffed. "I will win myself a Meilin. Let's go! Okay! _This little amateur thinks he can rap, but hell no; he ain't even on the map. I-_ "

Rollan honked the horn. "You said hell."

"Hell isn't a curse word," argued Um Bob.

"Then explain me why that baby is crying and that mother is covering her seven year old daughter's ears."

Um Bob scoffed. "Because they're all idiots."

"BOOOOOOO!" the crowd booed, throwing rotten tomatoes at Um Bob.

"BOO YOURSELF! I'M GETTING OUT OF HERE!"

Abeke stepped on the center of the stage. "Stay tuned for next time, when we won't have an amateur!"

 _ **Welp. No voting this time. Sorry.**_

 _ **~Alicio**_


	3. Singing pt1

_**I just drew a someone that looked like Conor, Luke Hemmings, Josh Ramsay, and Adam Parrish smashed together.  
Wow, my skills are on point.**_

 _ **P.S, I give credit. These songs in this chapter are not mine.**_

Abeke didn't tell anyone where she and Rollan found Shane. It was in a-

Abeke shuddered. She stepped on the stage with slime on her boots. "We, uh, have a special episode of the rap battle today."

The crowd cheered.

"Instead of rapping, the two lovely contestants are going to sing!"

Abeke saw Conor's thrilled face. She also saw Shane's completely blank face.

Actually, there was just slime.

"One lucky person in the crowd will choose a song and the one of these contestants will sing the first verse, obviously with a change of words and the other will sing the chorus," Abeke explained. "Again, you will judge to see which made the best parody, so let's start! Meilin, choose a person in the crowd."

Meilin turned around, got up from her spinning chair, and pointed to a person in the front row. "You, come up here. Choose the song. Don't choose a hard one, believe me, I would like to keep my ears."

Abeke saw that it was Alicio.

"Amnesia, by 5 Seconds of Summer."

Abeke cleared her throat. "Alright, alright! That's an old one, but do both of you know the song?"

Conor and Shane nodded.

"Good. I don't like wasting time," Meilin snapped.

Abeke drew a name from a glass bowl. "Shane's going first."

Shane cleared his throat. He snapped his fingers, and the spotlight shone on him. He cleared-

"SHUT UP AND START ALREADY!" Meilin yelled.

Shane fumbled with his microphone. Rollan hit a button. The music started.

" _I rode by all the places you used to hang out, your time wasted. I thought about your last kiss, with him, but nothing came to mind. And even though his friends tell me he's not alright, he's actually doin' just fine as a loner. I don't write letters that hurt you, because I'm dying inside. Sometimes I start to wonder why you are with him. If you are not with me, how can you be fine? Because he doesn't need you."_

The spotlight shone on Conor. He had a brief moment to clear his throat. " _I remember the day you told us you're the Devourer. I remember the tears rolling down her face. And all her dreams with you were crashed, like every single wish she ever made. You wish you could wake up with Abeke-"_

Abeke left the stage, disturbed.

"- _and blame me for the stupid little things. Like the way you got so rejected, and the lies of your memories. She's really fine with me."_

The crowd roared like crazy, cheering for a long time.

"Alright, alright, time for round two!" Abeke yelled, coming from back stage.

"Wha- Round-"

Abeke didn't let Shane finish. "You, Alicio, choose another song."

"Umm, the ABC's. Or, if you would like the original version, Twinkle-Twinkle Little Star," Alicio said, from her seat.

"How are we supposed to-"

"SHANE YOU'RE FIRST!"

Shane fumbled with the microphone again, but eventually grasped it. Rollan didn't seem to care that Shane wasn't ready and pressed the play button.

Or, at least, that was probably what he wanted to do.

Shane fell down a hole, which probably led to where he last fell.

"Whoops…"

 _ **The ABC's are in the next chapter.  
Nothing exciting to say, except that now my drawing looks like a potato now.  
~Alicio**_


	4. Singing pt2

_**Another chapter of Rap Battle! Because why not? (It's because school starts in two weeks, and I guess I'll update when I'm still alive.)**_

"Wait, wait, wait," Conor said. "Why does Alice get to choose the two songs?"

Abeke gestured to Conor. "Alright then, you choose a person to choose a song."

Conor spun around blindly, and finally stopped in front of a masked figure. "You. What's your name?"

"You may call me WolfWarrior," the figure said, voice barely audible behind the mask. "And I choose whatever the top song is today."

Rollan picked up a scroll. "As of August twenty-first, the top one billboard song is Cheap Thrills by Sia."

"Now let's go find Shane."

X~x~X

"Shane will go first," commanded Rollan, pressing a button on the judge's table. "I'm going to go get this slime off me."

The stage went black, except for the spotlight shining off the slimy Shane. He cleared his throat. _"Come on, come on, turn the radio off,  
It's Conor singing and I'm dying,  
Gotta get my date, named Abeke-" _ Abeke left the stage.  
" _But it's Conor singing and I'm dying._

" _It's the sheep boy,  
Ruining me,  
He got all he needs,  
But I got cash,  
Yes, I got cash,  
And I got that baby," _Shane sang, pointing to Abeke, who had already left the stage due to the inconvenience some call embarrassment.

Conor snatched the microphone out of Shane's hands. _"But we don't need dollar bills to have fun tonight,  
(Unlike you!)  
I'm not some spoiled brat like you tonight,  
(I don't like you!)  
Because I don't need no money,  
As long as I got Abeke.  
I don't need no money,  
As long as I got Abeke."_

Abeke found that very sweet.

Conor dropped the microphone, dabbed, and left the stage. The crowd roared like crazy.

That is, until the Bob psycho came onstage again. He trotted along with new crazy boots and old crooked feet. "My turn."

Meilin pressed a button on the table.

Bob fell. "YOU WILL PAY FOR THIS!"

 _ **I know that chapter was lame, but the next chapter is where I announce the winner.  
And WolfWarrior, there you go.  
~Alicio**_ _  
_


	5. The Short Conclusion

_**I haven't updated in a while, because high school is the definition of homework. Eighth grade is horrible/awesome/Harambe.**_

 _ **And by that, I am referring to my Drama class.**_

 _ **Also, this chapter will be the shortest one I have ever wrote, but-**_

"And the winner of the official Shane versus Conor rap battle is…"

Meilin stepped onstage and pushed Abeke aside. "The winner of this stupid, insane, dumb, useless so called battle is-"

"Nope, nope, nope, I do not consent Meilin or Abeke announcing the winner so soon. Why should you, anyway?" Rollan asked. "I think we should have another battle. And cake."

"I think we should not."

Abeke crossed her arms. "I'm tired of hearing Conor rap and Shane sing. No, Rollan, we will announce the winner right here, right now." She cleared her throat. "The winner-"

"HEY, I SAID I'M GOING TO ANNOUNCE IT!"

Abeke scurried off the stage.

"The winner of the rap battle is…" Meilin unfolded the paper she had in her hands, the examined it carefully. She squinted her eyes and rubbed them, not believing the name on the paper. "Bob?"

Bob rose from the crowd and stepped onto the stage. The crowd booed.

"And the prize is a... A time machine that totally works."

Rollan smiled, uncovering a huge box made out of metal and glass, opening the door for Bob. "We already set the time, so you're in for a surprise. Just press the 'send' button to go."

Bob nodded. He stepped inside, closing the door and pressing the button, before disappearing into thin air.

"Now, ladies and gentlemen, let's have some cake."

 _ **-I'm starting another story soon, after I finish maybe Aftershock III or something. And I'm updating again today.**_

 _ **~Alice**_


End file.
